In Great Britain opposition parties do not win elections. Instead it is incumbents who lose them. And the Conservatives have done nothing to lose this election except to go in coalition with the Libdems, which prevented them from doing a lot that needed doing. In addition to incumbency the key floating voters are influenced by the “presidential” qualities of the party leaders. And here we come to Miliband’s first problem.

Anyone who has seen or heard much of Miliband knows that he comes across as an obnoxious, hectoring geek. Because that is what he is. For this campaign he has had media coaching to within an inch of his life, to hide the real man from the electorate. This was working well, with Miliband seeming less obnoxious than usual, until BBC Question Time on 30 April. Then it all went pear shaped. Firstly in his speech he told a pack of very obvious lies, then he was utterly trashed by the studio audience, doing the job that journalists have failed to do. And finally, as an apt metaphor, he slipped over.

These campaigns are finely judged by teams of marketing experts. Labour decided they needed a stunt to take our minds off Miliband’s Question Time disaster, so they carved some very vague “promises” into a lump of stone and released it to the press. To howls of derision. And the social media had a field day. This really was the vision of the wheels coming off the Labour campaign. Miliband producing his own tombstone with his own epitaph carved on it.

Another huge Miliband failing is that by a series of gross political miscalculations he has managed to wipe out the Labour party in Scotland. This will cost Labour about 50 MPs and is one of the biggest disasters in their history. The SNP, who will win these seats, could very well hold the balance of power in Westminster after the election. The SNP hate the Conservatives and are lefties, just like Labour. So unless there is a clear Conservative victory we could well end up with a Labour government propped up by the SNP. And that would be a disaster because the tail would wag the dog. The SNP would end up running England, Wales and Northern Ireland as well. And Sturgeon knows this, even going so far as to say that no British government would rule legitimately over Scotland without her in it. This is almost a unilateral declaration of independence. So English voters know that if they vote for Miliband they get Sturgeon. Scottish interests will come first.

Labour are the nasty party of envy and of punishing success, but they try and wrap themselves in a tissue of lies about being fair, of promoting equality, “social justice” and social liberalism. So they have women only MP shortlists as a sop for the hard of thinking. However in just one political meeting the real Labour party was revealed. Tom Watson, Liam Byrne, Khalid Mahmood and Jack Dromey attended a Labour political rally in Birmingham and the audience was segregated on the basis of sex. This is completely outrageous and primitive in modern Britain. Labour should be utterly ashamed of themselves. It shows that they are happy for Sharia Law to take over from traditional British values. That multiculturalism is more important than decency and human rights.

We live in an age of celebrity, so political parties like to receive endorsements from such people. The Conservatives have been successful in receiving large numbers of such recommendations from the sort of people who make our country work. Businessmen and doctors. Labour too have had endorsements. From comedians. Really that is all you need to know about the election.