The Daily Mail is the newspaper of choice for middle England. It is conservative with both a big C and a small c. And it has endless stories about welfare scroungers, illegal immigrants and how it is not safe to leave your home any more. It is compulsory reading for the Woman’s Institute.

The Guardian is the home of the “intellectual left” (I know that is an oxymoron) and panders to the noodle knitters with stories about how reducing government spending will be the end of the world, how evil the City of London is for making so much money for us all and how we should have an eco friendly disabled lesbian bus shelter on every corner. It is the cheerleaders to the misguided radical lefties.

So superficially these newspapers look like exact opposites, but the reality is that they are both products that are sold to target audiences so they have the content to reflect that. Where they are both identical is the way that they go about it, they both seek to make their readers angry. They seek to whip up storms of righteous indignation. And they succeed. The relationship they have with their readers is so predictable that they have become parodies of themselves. Once you understand their editorial philosophy then they both become pure entertainment, a bit like reading Viz, but a lot funnier.

And whilst we are on the subject of the Guardian, how come they carry the preponderance of advertisements for government jobs? Surely that means we would end up with a civil service full of rabid lefties who run the country into the ground and couldn’t run a drinks party in a brewery. Explains a lot.